Pheromone Attraction

Pheromone Attraction: Love is in the Air

Well, here we are in February and many people are celebrating St. Valentines. It is a good time to think about love and relationships to put a bit of warmth in our lives after a long winter.

Philia:this Type of Love is Pertaining to What We Might Call a Brotherly Love

Not brotherly in the sense of family, but in the sense of kinsmenship. This is the type of love that makes us want to help the little old lady cross the street safely and watch out for our fellow man. It is a good type of love and helps us to see others as needing our love but, sadly, it can often also be a selfish love. Many people only show love to others if they can get something out of it. -- Thankfully, most people love out of pure motives.

Want to Look With You At the Four Greek Words for Love

These are: Eros Storge Philia Agape Eros:The first type of love we are all familiar with. Our English word Erotica is derived from this word. Sadly, some people never get passed this type of love and base their relationships purely on sexual attraction. This is the type of love that merchandisers tend to play on with the public trying to get us to buy their products to make us more attractive to the opposite sex. Unfortunately, aromatherapy is being misrepresented by these same people also to traffic their products. You would be surprised to see how many products are being offered specifically to attract the opposite sex using aroma.

Agape:The fourth type of love is adler graduate school. This is the highest form of love there is. This is an unconditional love for others in spite of their character flaws and weaknesses. It is a difficult love to obtain simply because we, as humans, are usually concerned more with ourselves and how the world and people around us affect us. In order to love in the agape way, we must overcome our selfishness and look to the needs of others. Prime examples of this type of love are people like Mother Theresa, East carolina university. These are people who look out for others interests above their own. It is a special kind of love that needs to be cultivated for it to grow. We can only achieve this type of unselfish loving as we put the needs of others as a priority.

Without getting religious here, I just want to tell you there is a verse from the Bible that fits well with this concept. It is called the Golden Rule. Luke 10:27, says --?Love your neighbour as yourself--? and "Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets." -Matthew 7:12 . All relgions of the world share in this same philosophy.

So, the point is that erotic love is not a deep meaningful love but superficial and based on sexual attractiveness only. Storge:This type of love is what we find in families between the different members. It is the love of mother, father, brothers and sisters. This is a much stronger type of love and involves commitment. --?Blood is thicker than water--? and most people will do all they can to stand behind their families.

• Both are using the same word and it is only by the context that we can ascertain the difference.
  
• The Greeks, on the other hand, have four different words to describe love.
  
• Each word gives a different nuance to the word that helps us understand more fully what is being spoken of.
  

The second thing that stands out is that the Golden rule says to do what you want others to do to you. This is not the same as --?Don--t do to others what you don--t want them to do to you.--? It is not a position of avoiding doing evil or harming others but an actual DOING of something for others. This requires action on your part. It says --?DO unto others--?. It is when we realize that we reap the rewards of love as we involve ourselves in the lives of others, making their lives easier and more pleasant, as we would want our own lives to be.

Studies have been done trying to prove the theory of attraction through Pheromones based on animal instincts. I personally feel what attracts women to men a life partner is much more than the basis of his/her smell. In fact, it was impossible for me to fall in love with my fianc-? based on smell as we met through ICQ on the Internet. It was impossible for smell to play any part in our meeting. Our relationship was based on character and friendship which later developed into love. You can say we met each other and we just clicked ;-) (pun intended)

Love is in the Air | 1440 X 900 | Download | Close

• One thing that stuck out to me as I read these is that it says to love your neighbor as yourself.
  
• Sadly, many people in this day and age, don--t love themselves.
  
• If you don--t love yourself how can you love others?
  
• Unconditional love needs to start with you.
  
• You must learn to accept the fact that you are a special and unique person.
  
• Yes you have flaws, we are all human, but these flaws do not make you less of a person.
  
• Learn to love yourself in spite of your shortcomings and accept yourself for who you are.
  
• As you love yourself you will find it easier to love others.
  

After the Long Cold Days of Winter, Spring Sings Her Chipper Song

As I write this, I have brightly coloured tulips to gaze at happily in my garden. Spring is a great time to start eating healthier, lighter food, wear bright colours, and get outdoors. It also happens to be a great time to fall in love. Perhaps scientists will one day reveal a specific chemical that flies around in the spring air that gets human pheromone oil. Who knows? Maybe they already have-but before you take that exuberant leap into a special someone's arms and fall head-over-heels, here are some suggestions to keep your head in the clouds, while your feet are firmly planted on the ground.

For the purposes of this short article however, I've compiled a list of signs that you should look for that will tell you whether your relationship is toxic:

• He has a bad relationship track-record
  
• He makes you feel badly about yourself
  
• He gawks at other women in front of you
  
• He doesn't seem to care about what you have to say
  

Although it sometimes doesn't feel like it, it IS possible to walk away from a toxic relationship. The first step is to understand why you're in the relationship. We learn most about relationships from our families. You have to examine what kind of role models your parents were when it comes to intimate relationships and become aware of what you've picked up from them. Even the most dysfunctional family patterns will feel comfortable when they are repeated later in life- but just because they are familiar, it does not mean they are working for you.

• The people who care about you most don't like him
  
• You stop doing things you used to enjoy to be with him
  
• You feel like you can't live without him and vice-versa
  

You've Had a Gut Feeling that Something Was Wrong from the Very Beginning

You feel "on edge" or get "the crazies" when you're with him and begin to doubt yourself and your judgment Go ahead and read this article on Pheromones. We would also appreciate it if you could give us an analysis on it for us to make any needed changes to it.

You need to examine what you've been taught about relationships and how you have applied that teaching to your own life, and then sort out what isn't useful or productive anymore and find alternatives. Other steps I outline in detail in my book include identifying what your needs are and coming up with a list of your ideal partner's characteristics.

This is Where the Therapy Starts and the Healing Begins

Changing self-destructive relationship patterns is a long and difficult, and often frustrating process. But it is completely achievable if you have the courage, guidance, and stick-to-it-ness to do it. Because I am asked so often for help in this area and because I have been through this process myself and ended up in the best relationship I could ever have dreamed of, I wrote a self-help relationship workbook entitled, "Dump That Chump: A Ten-Step Plan For Ending Bad Relationships and Attracting The Fabulous Partner You Deserve". It's available on-line at: www.dumpthatchump.com. .

My therapy practise, I work exclusively with women and what seems to make it over and over to the "top 5" list of most important topics in therapy without fail is how to be in a healthy relationship with a significant other. From my therapy chair, I hear countless stories of hopes dashed, hearts broken, and very often, women being abused verbally, emotionally, and physically. Their pain is often gut-wrenching, extremely palpable, and difficult to bear witness to. I sit there day after day looking at the most beautiful, intelligent, strong, and capable women -a great inspiration to me in my own life- who are paying me decent money to help them figure out why they keep picking the wrong guys and how they can stop feeling so miserable in relationships.